its my life

hmm

2006-04-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

4.58am.. labour day.. haha just got back from holland v.. had a long drinking session with my buds, eehui ben and the fucking mai who came back from thailand for a holiday. had coffee and chilled at breko after that. feeling quite drunk now.... and it does suck officially

this week;s a cracking week ;)

its sucks to know that you;re gona fall in love somehow, im really afraid. fucking afraid. maybe cuz of the scars. those who think that i still flirt around and play with girls feelings. please fuck off . you dont know how fucking hurt i was.. im afraid to fall in love now,. for the first time. i;ll fucking love the girl deep deep. all the nonsense about having fun ,. changing partners and knowing more new people and this age,. fuck im sick of it. fucking sick . doesnt mean your 17 18 19 you cant want true love. love just happens,. its beyond anyone;s control. .love;s a beatufil thing. how i wish love can be simple. like abc xyz. fucking simple. somebody tell me please. that love can be simple.

.

2006-04-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

where;s my superwoman?

chop chop

2006-04-23T08:54:00.000-07:00

damn tired. so i;ll just chop chop .

today, woke up. did abit of housework. went downstairs for a swim.. nua at home till 4..then... met daniel song , went to yung ho field, its at jurong, for our soccer match. was a fucking good match.. why, cuz we thrashed a malay team 7-0. scored one. got my knee whacked by a fucker, damn sore now.

on my way back.. at bb interchange.. was looking out for this damn damn damn damn old lady who would always be there selling tissues.. i'd always buy from her. at first i was fucking scared. cuz i didnt see her there. thoughth sth happend or wad. so i walked down sumore. thank God, she;s still around.

tml school starts at 8. fuck.. sacry monster. and i havent touched my hw yet.

i dont think shes a substitute la fuck. just that they;re damn alike. i love that type of gals(which is damn hard to come across) deep deep . deepest. really...... im old enough to know what is love i guess. not the 14 15 16 year old i used to be.. 17 alryd.. turining 18 in half a year;s time.. and soon, i;ll get my license !!! by next feb man hopefully. so daddy;s car in singapore would be of use already. haha man he;s going back china on wed. im gona miss him . i love you deep deep daddy.

love deep deep

2006-04-22T11:46:00.000-07:00

sunday morning 2. 46am (singapore time)

started school ! wouldnt wana elaborate much about it. haha just that yeh, civil engineering is tough. long hours of lessons. but the plus point is that,.i found a few dudes there who are cool. (like me ) hahah and yeah we clicked well. CCA, i signed up for archery, aikido and mentor club. must be wonerding why mentor club. simply cuz i love kids deep deep. i really do. haha mentor clubs oragnises games and activities for the less privillaged kids. gives me plenty of chance to interact with the cute kiddos, i love . haha really la fuck. i know ALOT of you people wont believe, but i really love kids deep deep.

friday, was ben;s birthday. went town fer dinner with the birthday boy, eehui and lehui. andre fucking psed. again. hah then went kbox.. boxed till 4 am.. headed to my poolside to drink. fucking drink drank drunk. drank liqour, beer.. and everyone was fucking seh by 6am,fell asleep just like that. haha

saturday, woke up in the afternooon, slacked at home. did abit of housework, play guitar, fuck spider.. and then wenta my grandma;s place to look for my dad, and had dinner there. went to take a look at dad;s new office,.. then wenta town. met jy for awhile, forced her to watch the soccer touranment at ngee ann city. but fuck, by the time i reached there the people there all fucking spiders instead of playing soccer. hah then met jumali. zhenliang and kenneth. poly dudes ! haha went makan.. drank abit.. den headed to arab street to sesha and chill. yes its official. i love to sesha deep deep.

alright i better get going. i wana try waking up for church tml. but i;ll feel fucking wierd if i go back. maybe its just me not liking the place and the people. MAYBE. i should try going to some ohter church. BUT. fuck, i shoul learn how to get up early first. we;ll see bout that. ciaoz !

maple.

2006-04-15T12:42:00.000-07:00

its 3.41 now.. sunday morning. just got back home as usual.
lets see...
today, got up @13.40 relatively early. dont ask me why cuz i myself have no idea.
had cereal for brunch. slacked at home.. was on the guitar for some time.. was inspired by this tank mtv, so i armed myself with the guitar, and wrote a song,. hahaa a love deep deep song.
slacked sumore..the weather was fucking shiok. perfect nuaing day. nua nua nua.. then wenta meet ben for dinner and a movie in town.. inside man. its an officially good show. havent watched such a good show for some time already. then went liquid to drink .. i figured that im becoming an alcoholic. actually ben figured that out and told me. haha cuz ive been drinking drinking drinking. well,if i dont enjoy singapore;s night life now. when can i. when i have kids and i have gota tell them bedtime stories. come on. hahah went fer supper back at timah,. bumped into aaron. yuming and his gal fren. so we joined. cant wait for ben;s bdae this coming fri. i tell you,. we;re gona drink till we mistake sea shells for sea shore.

hmmm i wana go church later on,. hopefully i can wake up.

the memories just keep flooding back. i dont know why. you said, that its easy for me to find any other girl. but its not easy to find someone whom i love. deep deep sumore. deepest already.
when can i see the familiar face. and that smile. and hear that so familiar laughter which i used to hear everyday. but you;re like treating me half fuck now. maybe i should create new memories to delete the old ones. but can i. or rather should i. i dont know. maybe i should just continue drinking drinking and drinking....

recap

2006-04-13T14:29:00.000-07:00

been some time since i blogged. was too lazy though i had nothing to do.. this shows that im a fucking lousy and lazy blogger.

its good friday today.. 5.25am haha just reached home.
okay lets recap on this week.
haha

monday, slept at home. conviniently spent the whole rainy day at home. sleeping eating, then sleeping. then watching tv til the next morning. ah ma loved me deep deep cuz i stayed home the whole day. haha

tuesday. had some difficulty waking up. had to go school for orientation. and i glad i actually did wake up. cuz school was cool. the people and everything to do with it. my new class looks appetising. made friends, clicked easily with them haha you can say its easy to click. having the same interets and stuff usually helps.

wedensay, sp flag day. what a bore . instead of collecting money. wenta catch a movie with zhenliang. the rest of the class were collecting. then wakled around town slacked.. fuck this is the first time i was in town so early. usually dont go in the day time. fucking hot, haha and yeah i colected a stunning $1.25. and zhenling a few bucks more. while the rest had 10 to 20 bucks or even more. haha we can go fuck spider la . fuck incy wincy spider

thursday. slept damn well. woke up in the late afternoon. nua at home... talk to dad about my plans to go bangkok in june. haha and ended up talking bout jay chou. my dad listens to his songs in china too. wtf man. and he knows how to sing them. hahaha fa ru xue. the only full song he knows. my dad is fucking cute and hip la. he wants to be young. hahah and hes gona get a car for me when i get my license hahaha hope he meant it
okay then met ah white, andre and ben in town. had dinner.. den we wenta find eehui after that cuz shes joining us to drink later. fucking long nv see her already. pangsai woman.haha my closest gal fren. love her deep deep...wenta liquid kitchen, drink. drinked, drank. drunk. haha we did all that. headed for supper at usual place azhar,, then again. to my pooside to chill.till around 5am just now haha usualy secondary school friends are the closest, they noe u inside out. know all ur jiao patterns and how kuku and lousy you are, all ur darkest secrets.and of course. your strong points. we;ll be fucking good friends even till we get married and have little juniors. im sure about that. i;ll be the resident driver i swear once i get m license next feb, if i dont fail any tets. we dont hafta cab around anymore man. soon.. real sooon. haha

alrite. its time for me to make a move. im not gona sleep. gona wait till everybady wakes up. then i;ll sleep. feeling bloated, after all the booze.shall go take a leak. then watch dvd. haha ciaoz guys. daddy, i love you deep deep, the deepest. haha : ))

2006-04-03T10:56:00.001-07:00

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires.
And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek.
You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships.
It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

2006-04-03T10:56:00.000-07:00

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatisyourseductionstylequiz/">What Is Your Seduction Style?

haha

2006-04-03T10:55:00.000-07:00

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

What Is Your Seduction Style?

.

2006-04-01T12:34:00.000-08:00

was stucked outside fer an hour man.. didnt bring keys. and my whole family was alseep so i hadta ring the doorbell till i manage to wake any of them up . and i did. haha
just got back not long ago.

lets start from lunch. went for turtle soup with auntie berlynn. offiicially shiok. anybady wana eat just ring me man. i ;ll go eat it anytime.

slacked at home till evening.. went town with jordan and adrian. went fer dinner, then shopped abit. adrian needed working clothes. allyson, jordan;s best gal buddy joined us. she looks like cherylene man, charissa;s sister. she really does. haha after all was done, we were thinking where to go.. ktv to sing and drink.. plasma to watch soccer and drink.. tanjong pagar to drink and chill and or club at zouk .,. we decided to go tanjong pagar first b4 clubbing. but adrian didnt come . cuz he said he didnt wana waste time going to jordan;s place to take car, he;d rather cab. but jordan wans to drive. i felt that it was more convenient too . so we left without him. im officialy broke after everything and supper. haha

bros ~!! andy lehui benny andre ah kao ah bar. been some time since every single one of us met up man. lets do it soon man. like tml?when ah white comes back from jb and b4 benny starts his probation on monday.

its 4.44 am now. and i dont know if i wana sleep not. cuz i hafta accompany my grandma to e market first tml. then to the temple. gona be quite early. hhah

fuck it. fuck love. dont believe in love. fuck it...

teach me God. to do the right things please. thank you. please erase my past wrong doings.
and cleanse me.

: )

2006-03-28T09:07:00.000-08:00

just came back from esso.. cigarattes finished.. so went to get another pack.. and some food fer the match later. .. staying up to watch champs league .. europe;s moste elite competition.. for those who dont know what it is.

today was relatively tiring.. woke up at ten.. auntie berlyn came and pick me up.. she;s like my daddy. doing all the stuff when he;s not around.(he;s in china),. wenta pay my fees at standard chartered.. then headed to jurong east for my medical checkup. all for the sake of singapore poly. and then went sp to register.. and everything tested my patience. checkup.. waited for an hour.. at sp.. 3 hours. can u beleive it. yes i can. haha kudos to myself. !! and for auntie berlyn for driving me and accompanying me around. and after that. she said daddy asked me to get more new clothes... good ones.not those i usually buy with my own money from freshbox and bugis. haha So, we went samuel and kelvin to get a few pair of jeans, a few shirts and a jacket. then dad said i needed something mature, so we went armani and got another jacket . hahahhaa then wenta pick my bros up. and wenta my grandma;s place for dinner.

oh, my grandma, the one staying, with me is damn sweet. she toldmy bro she wanted to get me some dvds when she was out today so i would stay home more often. but she didnt know what to get so she came back and ask my bro. my bro told me all these during dinner.. and i was feeling so fucked up. cuz sometimes i tend to raise my voice at her, make her worry when i oways stay out so late. i know staying out late isnt something wrong, but it worries her. so i;ll find ways to assure her i swear. and once i get my license, i ;ll use my dad;s spare car in sg and send her to the market, to the temple to anywhere she wants everyday. i love you ah ma. although i dont love ur nagging. i actually hate it.hahah hope the nagging would slowly decrease. : )

i just hope to rewind time sometimes.. and sometimes. fast forward it. please tell me, i want you to tell me personally.

sometimes i just wana go back to church. but i feel .... wierd, like damn awkward. i dont wana go back there and act. cuz i know i cant really worship truly and i smoke i drink and stuff.. but i wana go back church... cuz i stil love God. and i duno if im thinking correctly. but some people in church just turns me off.

okay lets hope school starts soon. cuz i know its gona be cool. civil and structural engineering, isnt a popular course. but i think im fated to do that. my dad;s a developer, and since young,. he always brings me to his office. see the way he work.. to the worksite.. see the way he manage.. and lots more. im quite exposed actually. so probably,. i;ll end up working for my dad if he decides to come back to singapore after he;s done with business in china. or i;ll do my own , which is what im looking forward too. : ) i miss you dad.

and bangkok,batam, bali. .. here i come man !!

everything that i knew

2006-03-26T16:44:00.000-08:00

27th march monday 8.48am

just got home.. was at andy;s . went to liquid to catch man utd;s match with andy and smith.
as usual, man utd won. 3-0. haha

damn tired.. but i needa go fer some medical and hand in the application forms for sp.. not really looking forward for school at sp.would very much prefer to school at np.. but they;ll only reply on the 15th, by that time i would have already started school at sp.. haha well.. not everything will go your way, and im sure i know that very well.

dont know whats wrong with my mum and grandma,, non-stop nagging. they were relatively happy when i dyed my hair black... but i was sick of it.. so i bleached it with andy 2 days ago.. and they cant seem to stop nagging. mann.. its just my hair. dad where ya man.. come back and save me from the two monsters. haha.

Lets go back lets rewind to the days that remind me of all the good times that we spent together.
And I don't know why we just let it all slide when we both knew inside we were right for each other.
How can you just walk out of my life without even giving a reason
And how can you look so good the day I watched you leaving
I wish I could change your decision, But you just wouldn't listen
I dont know what to do, cuz you're everything that i knew.

simplicity

2006-03-25T00:54:00.000-08:00

lets start from yesterday.

went marina for steamboat with ben, smith, andy ah kao and andre.. where else man. and it sucked. not just that food, but the place as well... its like going for war man.. the place is damn suffocating. so guys dont ever go to 'pin xiang'. its hell.

then headed to benny;s poolside to chill and drink.. we;re gona do that very often in time to come already man.. no more clarke quay and boat quays.. cuz benny;s probation's gona start real soon. man feel fucking sad for my cuz. but no worries man. we;l go over more often to keep u company.

just came back from his place.. mann havent kicked a blardy soccer ball for ages.. since i left the team. lets see, no man utd match tonight..playing biringham tml.. means boring soccer night today !.. guess i wont go club too.. sick of clubbing for the moment. prolly stayin at home.. or go out and chill with the rest . okay im off to my guitar now.. ciao !

sarang hei

2006-03-23T10:17:00.000-08:00

2.50 am, friday morning.

lets talk about thursday. stayed over at benny;s place on wed.. in order to wake up to accompany him to court. his verdict was sentenced man. 4 weeks trial probation.. and if it all goes well. he;ll get a 6mth to 2 years probation. mann feel quite sad yet happy for this cuz of mine. happy, because, he didnt go into rtc. sad. beacause, im losing another hang out buddy.meaning i;ll be staying at his place more often. hah we already lost andre to PJC n the girls there. haha when benny;s probation starts, its gona be left with only me andy benjamin and ah white only. ah kao busy chasing girls. roy;s in australia. cant wait for him to be back man.. gona intro him to benny.. and we;re gona have havoc fun together man ! so tml,or rather later at night, we;re gona party with benny for one last night man. cheers bros : )

cant wait for this year to pass man.. then jan 8 2007 i;ll be officialy 18, and can officialy DRIVE WITH A LICENSE, buy my marlboro lights, go club without fake ids, go on hols with my buds out of asia. did i say i cant wait? yeh man i just cant wait. !

came home from benny;s place at around 5, met andy and white for dinner..after that, i was on the guitar for a few hours man. was learning to play and sing tank;s new song 'gei wo ni de ai''..blardy nice song. and yeh i succeeded.! then i did some thinking about life. and how to improve my life ! hahah as if ! .. all i did was to throw away alot of clothes. those clothes that i used to wear man.. childish shit. cupboard;s filled with more mature clothes for someone mature like me..with black hair finally after so long. black hair;s cool. haha ! and daddy !,. i;ll always be wearing the watch you gave me man.i miss you. i really do... okay off to watch some mtv now !

i hope you still remeber how i hugged you .

love is a moment

2006-03-20T01:19:00.000-08:00

its time for a getaway from this sick place.

love is a moment *

hey girl i wana catch your wave

2006-03-19T10:16:00.000-08:00

just finished watching fulham play chelsea. and yeah ... fulham won ! chelsea shoukd lose more often man.. a bunch of rich losers.

we should learn how to treasure everyone around us, the buds we hang out with, our family, the special someone in your life at this very moment. they dont just appear in your life like that. God has a plan for putting everyone of them in your life. life is fragile man, so please handle it with care. dont think too much, dont emphasise on something too much, and please, be open minded. then only will you find happiness in simple things.

im not trying to philosophise or what. im really just stating what i feel,. isnt that whats a blog for. haha

grandma;s nagging alot nowadays, she says im taking my day for night and night for day. she never fails to nag nag nag untill i sleep. haha and worse thing is after she found out that i smoke, it just gets worser man. but what to do, shes my grandma. : )

mann, andy;s moving house already. no longer gona stay opposite me. after so many years.. hopefully he doesnt go too far man, so he;ll be able to join us at azhar and liquid kitchen regularly man. but no matter how faar all of us are apart intime to come or what, we're still gona be bros yeh. we;ll all stil come together and talk about the girl in our life, talk about this and that like we always do, and back each other up no matter what we do. the 5 of us of 19th februaury (yesterday;s our anniversary) , plus dunlu. bros for this lifetime man. ; )

hey girl, i wana catch your wave ,i wana fall in love again.
take me back to the times when love was so true.
when i was falling down, i saw you there.im gona make you mine. i know its you. !

2.25am

sarang hei

2006-03-18T11:06:00.000-08:00

woke up at 3 today..stayed at benny;s place yesterday.
saturdays are usually damn slack.. good day to take some time off from the outside world and just stay at home, lie on your bed, listen to your favourite music, watch cable tv, think of the someone who means to you at this moment of your life. for those who smoke, yeh.. good time to smoke at home ! hahaha

headed off to liquid kitchen near my place there to watch soccer with the rest.. drank alittle,
man utd won, as usual.
then went azhar for supper, as usual again. haha and here at benny;s place, as usual again with the rest.

cant wait to get my license man..soon. a year passes damn fast. like a blink of an eye.

*to my bros : guys i love you all for everything.i know it sounds fucking gay. but still.. after what we;ve been through haha

*to grandma : sometimes the adults just dont understand what you need is companionship, not 600 bucks. i;ll try my best to be there. give me time. i;ll make you proud one day

* to dad: i miss you

She's cold and she's cruel,But she knows what she's doin'
She pushed me in the poo,lAt our last school reunion.She laughs at my dreams,
But I dream about her laughter
Strange as it seems
She's the one I'm after

Cause she's bittersweet,She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself.I don't want anyone else.
She's a mystery,She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more.She's just the girl I'm lookin' for

she's Just the girl I'm lookin' for

3.33 am

sarang hei

2006-03-17T10:15:00.000-08:00

i apologise for the use of excessive vulgaraites in the previous entry. but the video was really too gruesome, thats why i couldnt help.haha

yesterday, went down to the zouk underaged party to take a look. hahahaha we sold our tickets away the moment we reached there..luckily jordan was driving. so we went clarke quay for a drink . haha

today, met up with andre and the rest.been some time since i saw andre man. after he got into pj he;s like damn busy. with girls i assume. haha then met huiping fer dinner and a movie. vendetta.. its a blardy complicated show.. that auntie couldnt fathom what was going on.haha

here at benny;s place now.. didnt feel like going home.. i dont know man. *SARANG HEI !!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck animal cruelty

2006-03-15T09:55:00.000-08:00

FUCK. ANIMAL CRUELTY. FUCK THOSE PEOPLE WHO ABUSE ANIMALS. FUCK THEM.

jordan just sent me this video.. this woman was stepping and crushing a helpless kitten. stepped til the eyeballs dropped and bled till it died/fuck. the worse thing is. she videoed it and uploaded it. fuck it man. fuck. whats wrong with such people..fuck. i cant get that picture out of my head. mann... fuck animal cruelty..degrades the society.

just came back from town with ben.. watched date movie. stupid show. exactly like scary movie. haha wanted to go zouk with some other friends. but decided not to .. tired. real tired. going out for supper with jordan. waiting for him to come pick us up. haha tml;s gona be another day. prolly going to club. but not the underaged party at zouk. underaged parties are damn lame.. although im stil ungeraged, but my friends and i dont facny going to one..cuz its really damn turn off. got all the lians and bengs there.if we go there we'll go and whack them only. hhahah okay i gota go man. ciao

simplicity is sweet

2006-03-14T05:13:00.000-08:00

14th march 2006.

another day passed by just like that. went azhar to chill with smith yesterday. the rest couldnt make it. then stayed up at my place till the next morning.we;re planning an overseas trip man...cuz school's starting only in a month time.
mann.. sick of partying playing staying up and stuff. realised simplicity is sweet. really sweet. just having your buds with you, your family around you, doing stuff without any stress...simple things sometimes makes you happy. dyed my hair black yesterday ! haha somewhat sick of coloured hair for the moment. black;s cool. shawn yue looks stunning in black hair. haha

jason mraz at the esplanade, any takers? haha gota go guys. meeting my buds for supper.. AGAIN . haha

i';ll stare into space, try to forget you.. close my eyes.. think of the day when someone new would take over ur place, then maybe.. i;ll stop thinking of you.

=p

2006-03-04T02:37:00.000-08:00

apparently, i finally decided to blog again.. after a year or so. why? simple. cuz im bored. haha

haha saturday evening.. sorta just got up from bed. since after Os, my night has turned into day time and my day has became night. wonder hows it gona be when i start school.

went town with andy ydae night to catch big momma;s house, funny show. the ending was touching, we were hugging each other and crying. hahaha as if.but yeh.. the show;s cool.

the day b4 went kbox with the rest , benny, alan smith, andre and andy. all fucking high after drinking just a few glasses of voldkas,.. and started singing tuo diao over and over again and literaly stripping. wtf . haha that could be the last time cuz andre;s going jc, and when he;s in jc, he wont have time to go clubbing or drinking or wadever with us. maybe just chill out at al azhar on fri and sat nites with us. thats it. but well, we;re all damn happy for him cuz he always wanted to go jc, simply cuz he like gals who wear uniforms !! hahah

going out to watch soccer later. we havent decided wad match yet... its a problem when there aint man utd matches on sat. hahaha. gota wake up early tml man ,, needa go grandpa;s house . he;s gona do the cooking. his fav fried rice.. b4 he goes back to china. wth. goodbye dish. hahaha i miss my daddy man... in case you guys dont know. my dad;s doing business over in china. and only comes back once in 6 mths. this will go on for years. i dont know haha but i know i miss him. when hes not around, im the ''daddy' man haha gota take over his job and cover blankets for my two lil bros every nite and bring them out for movies and arcade when mum;s not free. wth man. hahaha okay i gota make a move.. going down yamaha to pay my drum fess. ciao !